Choices

It's been a year...a whole stinkin' year almost to the day. (t-minus 7 days) My family has grown closer, thank you God. I have been promoted to Supervisor of my department; thank you God. My marriage is better than it's ever been; thank you God. Overall, things are great. I've just been tired. My spirit has been tired. We recently had a family vacation and it was great. We got away and disconnected from the hustle and bustle of our everyday. It was nice to re-charge.  I felt refreshed and felt my soul awaken in a way it hasn't in a very long time. It made me realize how far I allowed myself to get sucked into the whirlwind of life. While I am appreciative of the opportunity God has given me, I have been extremely challenged in ways I've never been before in my life. Having two small children and a very demanding job plus looking sane all at the same time is hard. The word "hard" honestly doesn't do it justice; I have felt like I've been drowning for the past year. Attempting to maintain friendships, stay on top of tasks at work, stay available to my family, and hold my household together all while keeping a smile on my face. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry a little.
Being away for the weekend reminded me how important it is to take a step back every once in a while and breath. Not just breath but take a moment and dive into the Word. Remember God's promises to me that He will never forsake me or leave me, that if I give all of my anxiety to Him and focus on things that are positive, beautiful,  and pure it will bring a spirit of contentment and gratitude which in turn, brings peace. "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:9.
Ultimately, I've made a choice. I've made the choice to not let this life overcome me, but instead to give it to God and let the light of His Word and His Love overcome my world. This life may be trying, and it may have obstacles, but it's a beautiful life that was granted to me as a gift. He placed me here to do a work, a work to spread His message and His love to the people. I cannot do that if I'm focusing on the negative. I will choose to dive into Him and by doing so, others will see Him through me and that in itself, is the greatest gift of all.